Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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