Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
A+ Viking dick
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
