What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize