I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
