all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
