if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
