if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
