My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
