I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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