So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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