So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
