you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize