Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
