i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
