i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
