my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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