omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
