Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
