New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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