He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
