no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Randomize
