Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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