What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize