Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
