If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize