I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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