Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
