We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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