Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
