9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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