do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
