I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize