You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
