I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
