the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
