Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You were trust falling into bushes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
