If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
