This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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