i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
