In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize