i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
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