He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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