he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize