Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
