if only i could text you this smell
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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