I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
