He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
