I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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