i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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