If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
