His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
