They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
