ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
