Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
