don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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