Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
