The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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