I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
