I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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