1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
