Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
