wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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