we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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