see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
