I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Shame - the story of my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize