Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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